Body Image, Teens and the Internet #wellnesswednesday

Screen Shot 2017-03-13 at 18.44.01I took the Trusted Clothes quiz on body image concerning young girls and I couldn’t believe how much I didn’t know. Girls are more concerned about being called ‘fat’ than losing their parents, nuclear war or failing at school. How!? What??! There is also an increasing rate of boys with self esteem issues with the rise of social media. Every time I clicked on an answer, I couldn’t stop shaking my head. I can’t believe this is the world we live in. Then it got me thinking…and researching.

I wrote a very similar post before about Body Image. How the internet is a pivotal connection for those who are in need of guidance, but can be a place detrimental to a young person’s health. We as adults use the internet a little more wisely (or can be argued not as much!), however- for young people this isn’t necessarily a tool of communication. It’s comparison at the touch of a button or scroll.

Only 5% of women naturally possess the body type often portrayed by Americans in the media.

In researching, I started off by simply googling the term ‘body image’. There are plenty of useful websites out there, first with Planned Parenthood. The only downfall of these vital searches, the layout and content of these sites are, in all honesty, not user friendly. It’s extremely clinical, and not active for young people. The content is so sooooo useful, but the website’s appearance lets it down. We need to see an improvement of web content for young people in order for them to feel like they have access to the information they need.

According to do something.org, 95% of people with eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25. Then why, as social media usage has risen, are we not creating supportive and informative content that is marketed towards that age group? Pew Research Centre said a staggering 71% of teens use more than one social network site, with teenage girls using social media sites — particularly visually-oriented ones — for sharing more than their male counterparts do. Why are we not looking at the research and creating accessible and visually appealing content for young people regarding mental health issues and body image? The top websites in the search bar I have been on in relation to body image and self esteem feels clinical, awkward to use and without a connection to the audience.

The research is super mind blowing regarding adults too, the British Social Attitudes conducted a survey in 2014, three-quarters (77%) of adults think that society puts too much pressure on females to have a sexualised appearance, half of all adults (47%) think that ‘how you look affects what you can achieve in life’, and one-third (32%) agree with the statement ‘your value as a person depends on how you look’.

But things are looking up. 
There are such INCREDIBLE organisations out there doing amazing things for young people. We need to address these existing issues, and with wonderful non-profit organisations (some I’ve had the super sweet pleasure of working with) like Heads Together, Welsh based Heads Above The Waves, The Golddigger Trust from Sheffield and the almighty Young Minds rallying for change- we can see these figures drop significantly. Support the non-profits that are in your local area. Mental health awareness is on the rise, and we need to stand together. Let’s make social media an accessible place for young people to help them grow positively.

The best way out is always through – Robert Frost

Advertisements

A Reflection on Being Butt-hurt.

Hey folks! I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend so far!

As a lil’ lady who is continuously learning about herself, it’s extremely hard to discuss topics that I’m still, well, learning about! It’s soul- baring, and I feel all vulnerable discussing it. I’d like to think I’m self aware, or at least know my own strengths and weaknesses in every day terms, but in a perspective concerning relationships- it’s still something that is developing all the time.

I pride myself on my independence, and being comfortable in my own skin. Which is very true indeed! As some of you know, I was a bundle of nerves and my anxiety was at it’s highest in college years. In other articles/posts, I have stated that it affected my Screen Shot 2016-04-17 at 14.56.11relationships, which it definitely did. I look back at that time now, and think how much of a different person I am now. I’m unashamed of my easy going attitude towards everything, I’m confident and chilled out in a mushy-cool combination (or at least I’d like to think so!), I go with the flow- if a guy comes along that I really like, sweet! If not, that’s cool too- because what will happen, will happen ❤ However it has been a slight downfall in relationships where my kindness/ easy going attitude has been taken for granted, or really taken advantage of. And that’s my reflection. It aint cool. It’s not 100% ‘rejection’, its someone manipulating the good within you for selfish reasons. I was butt hurt, and it succkkkkeedd. It hurt my lil’ soul.

Everyone has a fear of rejection/ feelings not returned, but it’s how you deal with it that determines the overall outcome. Learn from it, grow- but also let yourself feel! This has been on my mind from the experience. When someone betrays your trust, or plays on your personality, it flippin sucks. It sucks big time, no matter the circumstance. It’s alright to rationalise an experience by saying ‘some people are not meant to be in your life’ and ‘hurt people, hurt people’ (which are all very true sayings), you have to let yourself feel hurt. This, in my very personal experience, is something I’ve been working on. It feels uncomfortable and has a weird feeling in your stomach, but it’s so important to experience it (Psychologies has a great article about coming back from rejection here). It’s left me a little guarded as a person lately, but I’m taking it within my stride. We’re not all perfect people, it’s taken me a while to admit this butt-hurt. I’m still rolling with the punches and slaying my way through each week the best I can!

Remember, you’re growing as a human being every day. Every day. Sometimes, things don’t go the way you planned, and you have to be very mindful of your actions and reactions. Be gentle, be kind, be yourself. As much as being butt-hurt sucks, don’t react with anger or hate. Take a step back and remember your self worth, and treat the situation with as much goodness as you can. But also stand up for yourself too! ❤ You will come out of a bad experience with more perspective, ready to go with the flow of the world that awaits!

Anyway sweetpeas, I will leave it there ❤ sending all my love to you all!

 

 

 

 

 

Self Awareness & Development

Hey y’all. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend so far! I wanted to share with you my thoughts on self awareness, as I think it’s very important to everyones wellbeing. We studied ‘the self’ quite extensively in my Counselling degree; and self development is atumblr_n52j4gnAML1r5gmiko1_500 major learning journey. Not just for those wishing to become helpers, counsellors or therapists- but for any beautiful being in this world. You wanna know more about yourself? Well here’s a little how-to and a bit of know-how, from my tiny point of view. (If this triggers anything for you, or you find this a little daunting at all, please go to my page of helplines who are there to talk whenever you wish) ❤

“Self-awareness is a continuing process of improvement, not arriving at a given state of awareness.”

This quote is sooooo important. Many folk who are trying to learn about themselves more, or reach this ‘enlightenment’ will find that they will never obtain this state of being. It is a continuous and ever evolving process. How cool is that though!? That we are continuously evolving as human beings, growing and developing! However, when people think of ‘self awareness’ this misconception is where folk go wrong. Because it’s not about achieving, it’s all about the process. It shouldn’t be rushed or forced, but a cool part of being you. Enjoy what’s going on! Learn and growwww. It may feel weird, but it’s rad to know more about who you are. From the weird and quirky, to the assertive and sweet. There is no wrong answer, because we are who we are. Rock it!

Although we feel most at risk when we contemplate baring our soul to others, it is, paradoxically, from the genuine responses of others that we stand to learn something about ourselves.

We have to feel safe when we expose ourselves for all we are. Fears, dreams, values, attitudes, even our sexuality. Have you ever had it where someone has pointed out a mannerism, flaw or a positive thing about you- that you didn’t really notice about yourself? I remember something as small as someone pointing out I use my hands a lot when I talk to or when I’m in conversation. This is a form of self-awareness, and people around you can help you there. I must reiterate, that we need to feel safe and trust those around us, feel mega comfortable. We don’t have to do self-exploration with others, in small groups or in a pair- we can do this by ourselves too. Write some things down. We have to be honest with ourselves. Be kind to yourself first my dear!! ❤262005_947454b3639547eda1d2775e6a535fdb

Ask yourself some questions first. It can be a little scary or even daunting to ask yourself some questions, but do not rush. A greater understanding of yourself is a wonderful thing ❤  for examplleeee

  • Are you satisfied with being who you are?
  • Are you comfortable with the age you are now?
  • What are your fundamental beliefs? How did you acquire them?
  • What life experiences are significant for you and why?

Be gentle with yourself, and take care ❤

Love Yourself

Hello you beautiful souls!
Ah, ‘love’. Probably the most powerful emotion we feel. It can be unconditional, potent and overwhelming. It sinks through our skin and pours out of us like some kind of tidal passion, which influences our lives whether we want it to or not. ‘Love makes the world go round’. They aint’ wrong.

It cannot be bought or sold; there is nothing it cannot face; love is life’s greatest blessing.- Catherine Wybourne

Such a powerful thing, yet when it comes to loving ourselves- we find it difficult and hard to do. We bruise our own capabilities, passions and aesthetics but find it easier to love and accept others. You are a source of wonderful things!! Love, forgive and accept. Create a strong relationship with yourself, and love will come back to you in abundance ❤